Thoughts On My Life Correct Now

Y'all I loathe to live this way....I don't accept much to portion correct immediately equally I endeavour to dig myself out of this dark hole I accept been inwards for the last week.  Some of the things that accept been thrown at me accept brought me to my knees....with these thoughts running through my heed ......what the heck did I produce to deserve what feels similar hate from soul I was amongst for xxx years?  A involve to punish.....I am at a loss......you win.  

These events accept been extremely difficult for me.  Some of you lot accept known me for 10 years in addition to I pride myself inwards existence able to run across the light...and the sense of humor inwards life.  My sisters in addition to unopen friends would tell I am similar Pollyanna...seeing life through rose colored glasses.

I know it's bad when I can't fifty-fifty larn excited nigh design.  Don't larn me wrong....if I accept heard this 1 time I accept heard it a M times....especially this week....that things volition larn better.  I larn it but dang correct now......I am having a hard fourth dimension only pushing forward.

So many thoughts running through my head....so many scenarios that perchance I could accept changed...should accept changed but didn't.  I swear existence a creative is a curse.  All of you lot practical people.....you left brain....logical humans who tin run across situations in addition to therefore much ameliorate than the dreamers....I envy you.

I can't fifty-fifty force what I am feeling because I am certain somebody would ship the regime over hither to cheque on me:)   The word  despair comes to mind. 

I am non writing this for sympathy....it's non similar I don't know I am loved yesteryear my solid unit of measurement in addition to friends in addition to yesteryear many of you lot that I accept never met but accept lifted me upward these terminal months.  I justice I am only mourning....and I empathise that only has to run it's course....right?

All I tin tell is hurry the hell upward because I desire the joy dorsum inwards my life.

Thanks for reading....appreciating....commenting in addition to sticking amongst me for this stage inwards my life.

  

This is me....raw.....what I am going through in addition to I am certain many of you lot accept been there.  In fact I am positive I am non lone inwards these postal service divorce feelings.  I hateful in that place accept been books written nigh it....and movies made.

You volition live able to experience me.....as I endeavour to climb towards the light.

I hope this volition non cash inwards one's chips a weblog nigh my life....heck no.   This is "one in addition to done"..... I WILL BE BACK TO DESIGN AND FASHION.

Yesterday I killed a spider running similar a thief inwards my cupboard in addition to I truly chuckled  because equally everyone who is afraid of spiders has said.....leave this closet....lock it upward in addition to never return.

There is nonetheless roughly laughter deep downward inwards there:)

#lookingformynewnormal

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